Between your choice and Allah’s choice for you
Qatadah ibn al-Nu’man narrated that the Prophet ﷺ said:
إِذَا أَحَبَّ اللَّهُ عَبْدًا حَمَاهُ الدُّنْيَا كَمَا يَظَلُّ أَحَدُكُمْ يَحْمِي سَقِيمَهُ الْمَاءَ
“When Allah loves a servant, He shields him from worldly things, just as one of you would keep water away from a sick person.” (Tirmidhi)
In this hadith, the Prophet ﷺ opens a window for us onto the unseen. He explains something about Allah’s decree which we would not know by looking only at what happens around us. We may see an opportunity disappear, but we do not see what would have happened had we obtained it. What feels like a disappointment may contain a protection we do not yet understand.
You apply for a job and are almost certain you will get it, but at the last moment it falls through. You plan to travel somewhere and make the arrangements, yet the journey never happens. You propose to someone, and everything appears to be heading towards acceptance, but just before it is agreed, the answer changes. You feel frustrated and perhaps angry, wondering why something that was so close has been taken away.
Our immediate reaction is usually shaped by what we wanted. We have already pictured the job, the journey or the marriage, and we judge the outcome against that picture. The Prophet ﷺ teaches us to consider what lies beyond our own expectations. Allah knows the future we cannot see, including the effect that getting what we want might have on our faith and our akhirah.
When an opportunity is turned away
Abdullah ibn Masud (may Allah be pleased with him) describes this situation:
إِنَّ الْعَبْدَ لَيَهُمُّ بِالْأَمْرِ مِنَ التِّجَارَةِ وَالْإِمَارَةِ، حَتَّى إِذَا تَيَسَّرَ لَهُ، نَظَرَ اللَّهُ إِلَيْهِ مِنْ فَوْقِ سَبْعِ سَمَوَاتٍ، فَيَقُولُ لِلْمَلَائِكَةِ: اصْرِفُوهُ عَنْهُ، فَإِنَّهُ إِنْ يَسَّرْتُهُ لَهُ أَدْخَلْتُهُ النَّارَ
“A servant may set his heart on pursuing something, such as a business venture or a position of authority. Then, just as it becomes within his reach, Allah looks upon him from above the seven heavens and says to the angels: ‘Turn it away from him, for if I were to make it easy for him to attain, it would lead him into the Fire.’”
Despite some discussion on the strength of this hadith, it has been authenticated by Imam Dhahabi and Al Haythami and others. We see in this hadith, that a person has planned for a business venture or a position of responsibility. The same lesson can apply to marriage and other opportunities to which we become attached. Everything seems ready, and then it does not happen. From our perspective, we have lost something desirable; in the situation described by the report, Allah has protected His servant from something that would have led to ruin.
Ibn Rajab includes a version of this report in his explanation of Allah’s protection of a servant’s religion. He explains that a person may pursue a worldly undertaking, such as trade or authority, and Allah may prevent it because He knows where the good lies, while the person dislikes being prevented and does not understand. The continuation describes the servant’s reaction:
سَبَقَنِي فُلَانٌ، دَهَانِي فُلَانٌ، وَمَا هُوَ إِلَّا فَضْلُ اللَّهِ
“So-and-so got ahead of me; so-and-so outwitted me,” when it was only Allah’s favour. (Ibn Rajab).
Blaming others for our “loss”
We recognise this reaction in ourselves. Who took the job from me? Who interfered? Who plotted against me? We begin blaming everyone around us, and sometimes the person nearest to us receives the blame. A husband may turn to his wife and say, “It is because of you. I told you this would happen.” His frustration becomes an accusation against someone who may have done nothing wrong.
The expressions in the notes, “Who got there before me?” and “Who outwitted me?”, capture this state of mind. The first treats the lost opportunity as a race which someone else has won at our expense. The second assumes that somebody has tricked or thwarted us. We become preoccupied with the people and circumstances immediately in front of us, forgetting that Allah’s knowledge encompasses what we cannot see.
Other versions describe the person waking distressed and suspecting a neighbour or a cousin. These versions are not all equally reliable, but the lesson about unjust suspicion is clear: disappointment does not give us evidence against another person. Nor does the wording itself establish that envy or the evil eye caused our difficulty. If there is evidence of wrongdoing, we can deal with it fairly; without evidence, we should not turn our frustration into accusations.
The bigger picture
Instead of blaming others, we need to step back and consider the bigger picture. This is exactly why we have istikhara. If we had received that opportunity, where might it have taken us? It might have led to a disastrous outcome in the akhirah. This is why our trust in Him must extend beyond the outcomes we already prefer.
Our choices and the path to Allah’s love
Reading these narrations one wonders where is our choice? We know from our aqeedah that we make choices and are accountable for them. If you don’t have choice, you don’t have responsibility, and so we would not deserve reward or punishment. Allah’s protection does not remove our responsibility to decide how we live. The answer lies in the hadith, when Allah says “When Allah loves a servant…” it means He is referring to His loyal servants. Good servants of Allah are prevented from falling into the clutches of dunya. Thus, Allah is protecting His devoted servants from what would be detrimental for them.
When we understand this, we should be asking how we attain this level. How can we become among those whom Allah loves? Allah has made the path clear. In the hadith qudsi narrated by Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), the Prophet ﷺ relates that Allah says:
وَمَا تَقَرَّبَ إِلَيَّ عَبْدِي بِشَيْءٍ أَحَبَّ إِلَيَّ مِمَّا افْتَرَضْتُ عَلَيْهِ، وَمَا يَزَالُ عَبْدِي يَتَقَرَّبُ إِلَيَّ بِالنَّوَافِلِ حَتَّى أُحِبَّهُ
“My servant does not draw near to Me with anything more beloved to Me than what I have made obligatory upon him. My servant continues to draw near to Me through voluntary acts of worship until I love him.” (Bukhari)
We begin with our obligations. We fulfil what Allah has required of us and refrain from what He has prohibited, and avoid doubtful matters. Then we add the voluntary acts of worship and follow the Sunnah. The additional worship builds upon our obligations and it leads us to Allah’s love.
The Qur’an makes the connection between following the Prophet ﷺ and receiving Allah’s love explicit:
قُلْ إِنْ كُنْتُمْ تُحِبُّونَ اللَّهَ فَاتَّبِعُونِي يُحْبِبْكُمُ اللَّهُ وَيَغْفِرْ لَكُمْ ذُنُوبَكُمْ ۗ وَاللَّهُ غَفُورٌ رَحِيمٌ
“Say, ‘If you love Allah, follow me, and Allah will love you and forgive you your sins. Allah is Most Forgiving, Most Merciful.’” (Surat Ale Imran 3:31)
When you reach that station, then you gain that protection. Just as we are familiar with different levels of membership – the gold package, the silver package etc. Each package comes with extra benefits – discounts, access to premium lounges, special offers etc. This is in dunya. When it comes to Allah, we have a special VIP club.
When you are in the club of those Allah loves, you reach a special level and Allah protects you. The Qur’an describes people who enjoy a relationship of love with Him:
يُحِبُّهُمْ وَيُحِبُّونَهُ
“He loves them, and they love Him.” (Surat al-Maidah 5:54)
One expression of that love is protection from something which would take us away from Him. We still make choices and take action, but Allah may guide us through an outcome we would not have chosen for ourselves. His care reaches beyond the limits of our understanding.
The care behind being prevented
We are familiar with the scenario of how we keep protecting our children from making bad choices, aware that they have less maturity, experience and understanding than us. Sometimes they want to do something, but you recognise the danger they cannot yet appreciate. You stop them, and they become frustrated at being pulled back. They may think you are being unfair, but later, they realise what you were trying to protect them from and that it would have been bad for them.
This is a limited example. On a bigger scale, Allah is Al-Hakim, the All-Wise, Al-Alim, the All-Knowing, and Al-Rahim, the Most Merciful. Out of His wisdom, mercy and knowledge, He protects His loved ones from things which would lead them away from the right path. Yet we do not understand and feel upset that we did not get what we wanted.
Just as someone who is unwell wants something to eat or drink, but the person caring for them knows that it would harm them in their condition. The patient may become angry at being refused, yet their anger does not make the harmful thing beneficial. The carer cannot responsibly give it to them merely to end their frustration. The person being cared for may interpret the restriction as a lack of affection. In reality, love is the reason for it.
Allah’s mercy towards His servants is greater than the care of their parents, and His protection may concern something far more serious than a passing discomfort. It may preserve their faith and their akhirah, protecting them from a course that would lead to Jahannam.
Contentment
This is where rida, contentment with Allah’s decree, becomes important. It means being content with Allah’s will (qadar) and destiny, while still remaining ambitious and trying our best to improve our situation – aim for a better job, a successful venture, a good spouse etc. So do your market research, and homework and whatever is required, but keep your heart connected to Allah.
Allah’s protection is a manifestation of His love, so do not be sad when you did not get what you wanted. We may not understand why something has happened, and we may still feel the pain of disappointment. Yet we can hold on to the knowledge that Allah sees what we do not see.
And on an even more positive note, no one can take away what is destined for you and has your name on it – it may be a car or property, a spouse, a job or position. Whatever it is, no cunning person can take it from you. No one. So relax and put your trust in Allah.
عن عبد الله بن عباس رضي الله عنهما عن النبي ﷺ: «وَاعْلَمْ أَنَّ مَا أَصَابَكَ لَمْ يَكُنْ لِيُخْطِئَكَ، وَمَا أَخْطَأَكَ لَمْ يَكُنْ لِيُصِيبَكَ».الترمذي.
ʿAbdullāh ibn ʿAbbās (may Allah be pleased with them both) from the Prophet ﷺ:
“Know that whatever befalls you could never have missed you, and whatever misses you could never have befallen you.” (Tirmidhi)
Allah’s protection is not universal
At the same time, this protection is not a universal rule that everyone is always prevented from whatever would harm their faith. If that were so, people would never attain authority and then become tyrants, or succeed in business and then use their wealth unjustly. Our choices remain significant, and worldly success cannot be treated as proof of Allah’s approval.
The Qur’an warns of istidraj, in which worldly favours accompany increasing heedlessness and a person is gradually drawn towards punishment. Allah says:
فَلَمَّا نَسُوا مَا ذُكِّرُوا بِهِ فَتَحْنَا عَلَيْهِمْ أَبْوَابَ كُلِّ شَيْءٍ حَتَّىٰ إِذَا فَرِحُوا بِمَا أُوتُوا أَخَذْنَاهُمْ بَغْتَةً فَإِذَا هُمْ مُبْلِسُونَ
“Then, when they forgot what they had been reminded of, We opened for them the gates of everything, until, as they rejoiced in what they had been given, We seized them suddenly, and they were left in despair.” (Surat al-Anam 6:44)
An open door can therefore be a trial, just as a closed door can contain protection. We should examine what our circumstances are doing to our relationship with Allah. If receiving more makes us increasingly heedless of Him, we have reason to be concerned. This warning calls us to examine ourselves; it does not authorise us to label another person’s prosperity as punishment or their hardship as proof of a particular spiritual rank.
Being left to follow our desires without guidance is a danger, sometimes discussed as khidhlan, being deprived of divine assistance. We should ask Allah for His guidance and protection rather than feel secure merely because we are getting our own way. We cannot know the unseen reason behind every success or setback, but we can seek the response that brings us closer to Him.
There is a well-known narration describing some servants whose faith would be harmed by wealth and others whose faith would be harmed by poverty, with similar references to health and illness. This is a weak narration.
The Qur’an provides a sound foundation for understanding Allah’s knowledge in apportioning provision:
وَلَوْ بَسَطَ اللَّهُ الرِّزْقَ لِعِبَادِهِ لَبَغَوْا فِي الْأَرْضِ وَلَٰكِنْ يُنَزِّلُ بِقَدَرٍ مَا يَشَاءُ ۚ إِنَّهُ بِعِبَادِهِ خَبِيرٌ بَصِيرٌ
“If Allah were to expand provision for His servants, they would transgress throughout the earth. But He sends down in due measure whatever He wills. He is fully aware of His servants and sees them.” (Surat al-Shura 42:27)
We think we know what would suit us, but Allah knows us more fully than we know ourselves. What helps one person may expose another to a temptation they cannot manage well. We should therefore be careful about insisting that our preferred circumstances must be the best circumstances for our faith.
Trusting what Allah has written for us
The Prophet ﷺ taught Ibn Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him) that even if people gathered together to benefit or harm him, they could only do so within what Allah had written. This gives the heart a reason to rest from its constant fear of other people’s power. We still act responsibly and protect our rights, but we do not imagine that our future lies entirely in the hands of a competitor or someone who wishes us ill. He said:
عَنِ ابْنِ عَبَّاسٍ، قَالَ كُنْتُ خَلْفَ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم يَوْمًا فَقَالَ ” يَا غُلاَمُ إِنِّي أُعَلِّمُكَ كَلِمَاتٍ احْفَظِ اللَّهَ يَحْفَظْكَ احْفَظِ اللَّهَ تَجِدْهُ تُجَاهَكَ إِذَا سَأَلْتَ فَاسْأَلِ اللَّهَ وَإِذَا اسْتَعَنْتَ فَاسْتَعِنْ بِاللَّهِ وَاعْلَمْ أَنَّ الأُمَّةَ لَوِ اجْتَمَعَتْ عَلَى أَنْ يَنْفَعُوكَ بِشَيْءٍ لَمْ يَنْفَعُوكَ إِلاَّ بِشَيْءٍ قَدْ كَتَبَهُ اللَّهُ لَكَ وَلَوِ اجْتَمَعُوا عَلَى أَنْ يَضُرُّوكَ بِشَيْءٍ لَمْ يَضُرُّوكَ إِلاَّ بِشَيْءٍ قَدْ كَتَبَهُ اللَّهُ عَلَيْكَ رُفِعَتِ الأَقْلاَمُ وَجَفَّتِ الصُّحُفُ ” .
“I was behind the Prophet ﷺ one day when he said: ‘O boy! I will teach you a statement: Be mindful of Allah and He will protect you. Be mindful of Allah and you will find Him before you. When you ask, ask Allah, and when you seek aid, seek Allah’s aid. Know that if the entire creation were to gather together to do something to benefit you- you would never get any benefit except that Allah had written for you. And if they were to gather to do something to harm you- you would never be harmed except that Allah had written for you. The pens are lifted and the pages are dried.'” (Tirmidhi)
When something does not happen, we can say alhamdulillah and ask Allah to facilitate what is better for us, particularly for our akhirah. Better does not always mean a larger salary or a more impressive position. It may mean being kept away from a temptation that would have damaged our faith. The window opened by the Prophet ﷺ helps us look at disappointment with hope in Allah’s care.
I knew of a man who insisted on marrying a particular woman. For five years, his proposal was rejected. During that time, he made dua, prayed istikharah and stood in prayer at night. He recited the Qur’an and also recited Surah Yasin forty times, following a practice for which there is no established authentic narration prescribing that number to secure a marriage. Eventually, his proposal was accepted, but afterwards he described the marriage as “hell” and said he wished he had never married her.
The story reminds us how strongly we can desire something without understanding what living with it will mean. It does not establish the hidden reason for every rejection, and it does not mean that persisting in dua is wrong. The concern is becoming so fixed on one outcome that we are unwilling to consider whether it is good for us. We can keep asking Allah while also asking Him to turn away what would harm us.
A parent may repeatedly warn a child not to do something, only for the child eventually to insist on trying it and discover the consequences through experience. When they mature, they go and try it and come back with burnt hands!
Istikhara – du’a for guidance
The dua of istikharah teaches us how to bring our desires before Allah. We ask Him to make a matter easy if it is good for our religion, livelihood and ultimate outcome. If it is harmful, we ask:
فَاصْرِفْهُ عَنِّي وَاصْرِفْنِي عَنْهُ، وَاقْدُرْ لِيَ الْخَيْرَ حَيْثُ كَانَ، ثُمَّ أَرْضِنِي بِهِ
“Turn it away from me and turn me away from it. Decree good for me wherever it may be, then make me content with it.” (Sahih al Bukhari)
We ask for the matter to be turned away from us and for ourselves to be turned away from it. Sometimes the opportunity has gone, but our hearts remain attached to it. We need Allah’s help to release that attachment and become content with the good He decrees. An obstacle is not, by itself, a definitive answer to istikharah, but the dua teaches us to seek His knowledge rather than insist upon our own limited judgement.
Not obtaining something we wanted is therefore not necessarily a sign of misfortune. It may be an expression of Allah’s protection, even when we cannot identify the harm from which we have been protected. We should receive this teaching as a source of reassurance and an invitation to draw closer to Him.
Remaining on the straight path
The way towards Allah’s love begins with fulfilling our obligations and refraining from prohibitions, with care around doubtful matters. We need to remind ourselves of this regularly because staying on the straight path requires continued attention. In every salah we ask:
اهْدِنَا الصِّرَاطَ الْمُسْتَقِيمَ
“Guide us to the straight path.” (Surat Fatiha 1:6)
Why do we ask for guidance when Allah has already guided us to Islam? Part of what we are asking is that He keeps us upon the straight path. We need His guidance to recognise what is right and His assistance to remain faithful to it. Being on the path today does not remove our need for Him tomorrow.
Just as a road needs guardrails to prevent people from falling over its edge, we need protection against the things that draw us away from Allah. This is where taqwa matters: remaining conscious of Him and allowing that consciousness to restrain our choices. Our connection with Him helps us recognise when an apparently attractive opportunity would take us in the wrong direction.
Ibn Ata’illah al-Iskandari says in Al-Hikam:
رُبَّمَا أَعْطَاكَ فَمَنَعَكَ، وَرُبَّمَا مَنَعَكَ فَأَعْطَاكَ.
“Sometimes He gives you, yet through giving He deprives you; and sometimes He deprives you, yet through depriving He gives you.”
We must also work on the purity of our hearts and the sincerity of our intentions, so that our outward actions reflect a sound relationship with Allah. As we fulfil our obligations and draw closer through voluntary worship, we hope to become among those whom He loves. His love is the greatest blessing we can seek, and His protection may reach us through outcomes we would never have chosen ourselves.
May Allah make us among those whom He loves and who love Him. May He keep us on the straight path, protect our faith and grant us contentment with His decree. May He guide us towards what is good for our dunya and our akhirah, and turn us away from whatever would harm us. Ameen.
Based on the khutbah of Shaykh Haytham Tamim on 18th September 2026.