Refreshing the Soul in Ramadan
Striving
Any achievement requires hard work. It needs sacrifices and it needs commitment. But we live in a world of instant and constant self-gratification. So, we have to strive to reach our potential, we have to strive against the pulls in a world of social media, surplus food, constant stream of entertainment and distraction. Ramadan teaches us to strive against ourselves and against all the things that keep us from reaching our potential.
Imam Ghazali, the great Islamic scholar said that success comes when we use our intellect and faith to tame our desires, which he compares to a horse. If we can control the horse, we can reach our destination safely, but if we let the horse take control, who knows where will end up – certainly not where we wanted to go.
Excellence
In Ramadan, we take the growth mindset to another level. Because Ramadan is when we push ourselves in every way.
The higher level of fasting is not just controlling what we eat, but the fasting of the eyes, the ears and the tongue. This means that we avoid saying anything hurtful or rude. We try to control our anger, when we are provoked. We have to avoid gossiping. We try and reach a level of self-discipline that goes beyond food and permeates your life and all your dealings with others. This is emotional discipline.
That is why Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) taught us that when we get provoked, we should not escalate the argument, but say, “I am fasting” and move away.
“When one of you is fasting, he should not engage in obscene language or raise his voice in anger. If someone insults him or fights with him, let him say: ‘I am fasting, I am fasting.’” (Bukhari, Muslim)
In fact, this is how we should be all year round, but in Ramadan, by focusing on it more carefully, we try and build the habit that we can carry with us when Ramadan is over. As we know it takes 30 days to build a habit.
In Ramadan we are aiming to go beyond the ordinary and make the extraordinary our ordinary. In fact, the Quran teaches us to keep striving for excellence, not just “good enough”. In the Quran, it says:
Every community has a direction towards which it turns. Therefore race towards goodness/excel in doing good deeds/ compete with one another in good works. Wherever you may be, God will bring you all together, surely God has power over all things. (2:148)
Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) was once passing a grave, and noticed that the grave was not straight, so he told the gravediggers to straighten the grave. They were surprised, because they didn’t think it mattered, but he said:
“When you do something, do it well. Straighten this (grave), for this does not cause any harm, nor does it bring any benefit, but it brings comfort to the living.” (Ibn Majah)
In one of my favourite verses in the Quran, it says:
Worship God alone and associate nothing with Him, and to parents be excellent, and to relatives, orphans, the needy, the near neighbour, the neighbour farther away, the companion at your side, the traveller and those who serve you. Indeed, God does not like those who are arrogant and boastful. (4:36)
This one verse tells us that in all our relationships we have to be our best self. Whether it is how we treat our parents, or our relatives, or our neighbours, or even the one who happens to sit next to you on the bus, we should be our best and our kindest self.
And note the verse ends by saying that our best should not just be excellent but excellent while being humble!
Kindness
Kindness is when you go out of your way to show genuine concern for others. It is acts of compassion and love and generosity.
Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) was known for his generosity. He loved to give and his wife said that he was always generous, but he was even more generous in the month of Ramadan. That is why Muslims do their best to donate as much as they can during Ramadan, last year on average, Muslims donated four times as much as anyone else in the UK.
Humans have been created with a purpose greater than simply consuming or surviving as a species.
As humans we have the ability to rise beyond our own needs. We have the ability to make sacrifices for the sake of others.
We have been given the responsibility of looking after the planet and ensuring that we look after those who are in need.
In Ramadan, while our bodies by detoxing, and taking a break from the cycle of constant consuming, we shift our focus from the material world, to God, and to our purpose for being here. This life is an opportunity to extend mercy and kindness to others. In the Quran it says:
[He] who created death and life to test you [as to] which of you is best in deeds – and He is the Exalted in Might, the Forgiving – (67:2)
As we strive against our desires, greed takes a back seat. The soul is given priority over the body, slipping out of the shadows for a month, and we look around to see whom we can benefit – whether it is by charity or by helping others or by sharing what we have with others.
Ramadan and tests
All those stresses are part and parcel of life. They are our reality. Even when we know that the purpose of this life is to be tested, the tests are still a struggle. A daily jihad.
So how do we deal with all those stresses on the one hand and on the other hand our desire to connect with Allah in this blessed month?
How do those two seemingly disparate things connect?
The connection comes from how we view our lives and our relationships with others and with Allah.
The answer lies inside ourselves.
If the tests that come to you don’t change, but you change how you view them, then they are two become completely different, even though on the surface they are the same.
What has changed is the person who is dealing with them is different. If two people wake up to a burst pipe, and the first person feels shocked, then annoyed, then resentful of the what has just thrown the day off course. She is filled with negativity, discontentment and dissatisfaction. The burst pipe is getting in the way of her day. It is an interruption to what was planned.
The second person wakes up to the same burst pipe,
– looks to the sky and says, ya allah you sent me this to test me,
– this is what You planned for my day, so let me figure out the best way to handle this.
– She takes it in her stride. She was mentally prepared for tests to come her way,
– when they came she rolled up her sleeves and realised that this was what was intended for her that day and she took it,
– just like someone who has been handed an exam paper gets on with their exam.
The example is a burst pipe, but you could replicate that with harder situations, like losing a job, illness or losing a loved one. Or you could replace them with ongoing difficulties, like relationship issues that do not get resolved or even raising children which is an ever evolving challenge, every time you think you have mastered one step, they are always one step ahead and throw the next challenge at you.
So we how cope with difficulties in our life, is determined by approach, our expectations and our connection with Allah.
Fundamentally the one with a sound heart and the one with a patchy heart will tackle the situations that life throws at them differently.
What are the differences in their outlook?
Good heart vs bad heart
· Sees good and does good
– A healthy heart wishes good for everyone.
– It is inclined towards good itself.
– And it is inclined towards being of service to Allah.
– That means a healthy heart is always looking for opportunities to do good. Any moment of the day, is a chance for it to either make dhikr, or be busy engaged looking after others, as well as looking after its body, heart, spirit in some way.
– For this heart, the glass is never half empty. It can always see the upside of any given situation.
By contrast, an unhealthy heart is a heart that is grumbling because it is discontented with life, with the cards it has been dealt, with the relationships it has. The bottom line is that it is dissatisfied with Allah’s will.
· Envy
A healthy heart is pleased when others are successful, because it does not view the world as a competition for material gain. It is happy for others when they do well, when their children are successful. And if they are struggling, it offers them support either physically or emotionally or through dua.
It receives Allah’s love.
By contrast, an unhealthy heart is jealous of other people’s success, compares themselves to what other’s have and is occupied with grudges and. grievances caused by them in their lives.
It’s not happy with Allah’s will. And Allah is not happy with it.
· Grudges
A healthy heart can make mistakes, but is quick to rectify them. It apologises quickly, it doesn’t insist it was right, it doesn’t say ‘I told you so’. It is easy going.
When it is wronged, it forgives and makes allowances for the other person.
By contrast, hard hearts are argumentative, stubborn, and rude. They do not see the good in others, but add up their faults. They always think they are right. They are generally ungrateful and they need to get the last word. They are quick to get angry and take a while to cool down after an argument.
No matter how much a hard heart has, the glass is half empty.
Such hearts block out Allah’s light. The more they have of these traits, the more hardened, and diseased and even dead they become.
We all want to move towards a healthy heart because it is the healthy heart which feels connected, supported, loved and experiences tranquillity.
Prophetic style was husn al khuluq it was beautiful character. It was to demonstrate excellence in all aspects of our life and our day. Once the Prophet (peace be on him) was passing a grave which was being dug crooked and he stopped to advise them to straighten it. A piece of earth, which was going to be covered up again, and still he asked them to straighten it, means that we have to think about the best way to deal with anything we do in our lives.
In the ayah of the Quran which Inwuited earlier, and many of us have read, but I never stopped to think about it in any depth until we studied it in tafsir, look at the list and look at the expectation:
Worship Allah and associate nothing with Him, and to parents do good, and to relatives, orphans, the needy, the near neighbour, the neighbour farther away, the companion at your side, the traveller, and those whom your right hands possess. Indeed, Allah does not like those who are self-deluding and boastful. (4:36)
It has the phrase bil walidayni ihsana. It is usually translated and be good to parents. However, in fact, it says be excellent to parents and then the list goes on and on. Until it has mentioned not just your parents, your husbands (those by your side), your neighbours, your employees and even those who happen to be passing by.
This suddenly becomes a very weighty ayah. Number one Allah is not asking us to be just good, or average or B +, He is asking us to be A* in our character. He is asking us to aspire to be the best.
In many verses of the Quran, our attention is drawn to the cycle of life, and how God brings life from the dead earth and how He sends the rain to trigger growth:
Indeed, in the creation of the heavens and earth, and the alternation of the night and the day, and the ships which sail through the sea with goods for people, and what God has sent down from the heavens of rain, giving life thereby to the earth after its lifelessness, scattering all kinds of moving creatures over it, directing the winds and the clouds that run their appointed courses between the sky and the earth: there are signs in all these for a people who use reason. (2:164)
After the stillness of winter, life emerges. In another verse of the Quran it says:
He brings the living out of the dead and brings the dead out of the living and brings to life the earth after its lifelessness. And thus you too will be brought out. (30:19)
Ramadan is spring for the soul – all year round we fall into a set pattern but then Ramadan comes and stirs us up, we shake off the cobwebs of our well-worn routines climb out of our slumber to sniff the promise in the air, as we are presented with a new opportunity to grow.
Every year Ramadan takes us out of our comfort zone. How many of you find it hard to wake up in the mornings? How many of you find it hard to eat at 430 in the morning? And then make it through to 5.45pm without eating or drinking?
Yet every year, we manage this. Some children will be fasting for the first time, others have managed to keep all their fasts last year.
So what do we gain by putting ourselves through this rigorous month? And by turning our routines upside for 29 or 30 days?
Physical renewal and repair
The first thing that happens is to our bodies.
By changing the timings of when we eat, though we might feel weak or slow during the day, it actually gives our body a chance to repair and renew itself.
Fasting cleanses the body, boosts metabolism, and enhances brain function. It triggers cellular repair just as the poem described with the bubbling and doubling we see in spring.
In the first phase of fasting, as the body detoxes, we can experience headaches and withdrawal. But then the body switches from using external fuel sources to its own supplies. And then the magic begins to happen.
Fasting reduces inflammation, insulin sensitivity, improves heart health, and boosts immunity! (As along as don’t sabotage our efforts when we eat again)
The health benefits were known a long time ago and even the Greeks used to fast.
The ancient Greek physician, Hippocrates, known as the “father of medicine” (who died in 375 B.C) used fasting as a way of treating illness.
Mental aspect of fasting
The ancient Greek philosopher, Pythagoras supposedly fasted for 40 days before his exams and encouraged his philosophy students to fast in order to sharpen their minds.
So fasting is a way of improving our bodies as well as keeping our minds sharp.
Other religions
It was not only the Greeks who fasted, we know that the prophets used fast as Moses fasted for 40 days when he received the Ten Commandments. And Jesus fasted for 40 days. Jews and Hindus also fast as part of their acts of worship.
in Islam, we fast for the whole month of Ramadan as the Quran instructs us. It is an act of worship which makes us more aware of God in our lives, our dependence on Him and very importantly it is a training ground for developing our self-control.
Islam is shows us that we become stronger by making ourself weak. Though we may feel weak during the day due to fasting, we are strengthening ourselves mentally. We are building our inner resolve, building our self-control.
Dragons
Desire is something that is completely natural but the more you feed it, the more it grows. Unless we learn how to curb our desires – not just for food but for anything – those desires keep growing and become addictions. So desires can become a dragon that keeps trying to control us.
Ramadan comes to tame the dragon. It shows us that we have the power to keep our dragons under control.
Imagine if we fed that dragon every time it called us? It would become a rather large dragon!
Fasting reveals human potential
When we discover that we have the power to control our desires, it shows us that we CAN rise above our desires. This is very empowering. And it also reveals to us our own potential.
Ramadan shows us that we are capable of more than we think. We CAN resist Doritos, we CAN get by without coffee, we CAN survive 12-18 hours without eating or drinking, we CAN stay up in the night praying and still be up in the morning for work and some elite athletes can perform at the Olympics or in the FA Cup while fasting.
Ramadan is a month the reveals our potential.
In Islam, humans are viewed as creatures with tremendous potential. When God created Adam, He gave him the ability to use reason, which means that we are born with the potential to learn, to deduce, to memorise, to solve, to predict, to plan and to build.
The reason we come to school is order to turn our potential into ability. To nurture our innate talents, to expand our minds, to be challenged and to unleash our creative powers.
When Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) was in the dark cave one night, and the angel came to him and said to him “Read!” it was in the month of Ramadan.
ٱقۡرَأۡ بِٱسۡمِ رَبِّكَ ٱلَّذِي خَلَقَ
خَلَقَ ٱلۡإِنسَٰنَ مِنۡ عَلَقٍ
ٱقۡرَأۡ وَرَبُّكَ ٱلۡأَكۡرَمُ
ٱلَّذِي عَلَّمَ بِٱلۡقَلَمِ
عَلَّمَ ٱلۡإِنسَٰنَ مَا لَمۡ يَعۡلَمۡ
Read in the name of your Lord who created –
Created man from a clot.
Read, and your Lord is the most Generous –
Who taught by the pen –
Taught man that which he knew not. (96:1-5)
This first words of revelation highlight human potential – our life begins as a mere dot in our mother’s womb, yet we go on to read, to learn, to explore the universe, dive into the depths of the oceans, and climb the highest mountains.
One day, a poor lady and her children came to visit Aisha, the wife of the Prophet (peace be upon him) and they were visibly hungry, but Aisha had nothing in her home herself except one date. So she gave it to the woman. The woman herself, despite being hungry broke the date in half and split among her children and did not eat any of it.
We see from the story, the beautiful kindness and generosity of Aisha and the mother. We see that they were able to make sacrifices for others.
These are the values that I wanted to share with you about Ramadan – the month in which we practice our self-control, we strive to be better, we tap into our potential, we aim to be excellent while being humble, and above all we show kindness to others.